I weigh what?!

So this is not a bragging post at all....ok, well maybe a little. :)

I joined Lifetime Fitness last week and had the free assessment done. They start out by asking you a bunch of questions about what activities you do. I was talking to the guy about the bike ride I do and he was pretty shocked by the mileage I put in. People who do not ride think that is an outrageous amount of miles. He also asked me about my goals and nutrition. I told him my two areas are cardio, flexibility and staying away from soda-pop.

So this is where it got really interesting.

He put me on the treadmill for 5 minutes and made me hold the bars to get my heart rate. Turns out the test failed because I never got over 100 BPM. So he asks me to do it again for another 5 minutes. Same result. By this time I'm starting to feel it bad.

He tells me that we will come back to that test later. Great! Another 5 minutes. I get on the scale and he weighs me. I come out at 141 lbs. Craziness! 141 lbs! Then does the body fat content. They do a measurement on your chest, leg and stomach. 9.3%. I have about 13 lbs of fat. Insane! I would have never guessed that I would be under 10%.

The bad news was the stretch and the bicep strength. Pathetic on both. I told him he should try a leg squat test cause I would have done much better at that. I guess you can do that test too if you want to shell out some extra cash for it.

I was really happy with the results. Now if I can just get my ass in the pool and to some yoga classes I should be able to get better at cardio and flexibility. I think the yoga classes are going to be tough for me to even get to. I know it's good for you but I don't think I'll be able to handle the music and just the general weirdness of it all. I'll probably just steal some stretches from it and try to do my own thing. Put some Metallica on a iPod and do a Lotus stretch! Rock on!

Anyway, left over tacos are calling me now. We'll see how I am in another 8-10 weeks.

Too Little, Too Late

Mike Nifong is resigning his position as DA. This should have come about 15 months ago. Who's the hooligan now?

Mike Pressler, the former Duke Lacrosse Head Coach who stepped down, was on the news last night saying that this was a lame attempt by Nifong to stop him from loosing his license to practice. I have to agree with this. There is no way that Nifong is sincere. There is a mountain of evidence that he was in the wrong, he knew it but still proceeded. He was acting on his own interests without any regard for the law.

Being stripped of his license is not a fit punishment. At a minimum, he should have to flip the bill for the legal fees that the families had to pay. I don't know how he makes up for ruining the reputations of the players though. Any ideas?

Maybe they can put him on this game show. Those wacky Japanese!

Moment of Zen

I went to Subway the other day and SuperFreak by Rick James was playing on the radio. I just wanted to dance as the lady was making my sandwich. Probably would have been arrested though.

Triple Mountain

Officially the ride is called 3 Mountain Madness---but that's a stupid name so I don't call it that.

What a great ride. As usual, I blew up about 3 mile into the ride. I cannot keep a fast pace without a good warm-up first. I did get to see Jason and Steve coming down all three hills. But I almost caught Steve at the end. I think I finished 2 minutes behind him. I have not had a computer on my bike for awhile so I don't know my average speed, heart rate, feet climbed or how many Wendy's we passed.

I did find some people to pace behind going up Sauratown and many of the hills between Hanging Rock and Pilot. That helped a ton just being able to concentrate on someone's pace in front of you.

I did not see anything funny on the ride this year. Usually you see someone puking on Saurtown or a chicken get splattered by a speeding pick-up truck (that really did happen last year, I swear!). So it was rather uneventful in that respect.

And no Captain Midnight. So bummed about that.

Tour de Gaps is coming up. I should probably get some more goo packs for that one.

Pricks!

The city of Raleigh is about to pass a law saying that you cannot have more than three American Flags on your property. That's Amercian Flags. That's not a typo. Read it again. A-M-E-R-I-C-A-N F-L-A-G-S.

Well they cannot stop me from posting lots of flags on my blog!

And my favorite :)

Fair Tax

The Fair Tax. I think this is a really good idea. I have heard Neil Boortz talk about it quite a bit. It sounded a bit far fetched but after reading the web site more it makes a lot of sense.

I got hosed on taxes this year. I paid a shit load during the year and got back a lousy $137. Meanwhile, folks like John "Pissy Republican" McCain and Ted "MADD Spokesman" Kennedy get all their lunches and clothes for free. Anything that will allow me to control the size of my checkbook and keep hypo-critics like them out of my business gets a thumbs up from me.

In reality, it will never happen. There are far too many people who make a killing off our tax system--even in the private sector. Think of all the accountants and lawyers that make money off people who cannot figure out what changes there have been in the tax code in any given year. The complexity of the current system benefits them tremendously. These people will never support the fair tax because if it passed then they would have to find different jobs. Therefore, they will put their money behind any criticism of the fair tax regardless if the arguments are sound or not.

6 Degrees of Kevin Pig Meat

So I was thinking about this at lunch the other day (because my brain is so big and I get bored easily).

Link Bruce Lee to Jack Nicholson using 6 or less movies.

Basically you start with Jack or Bruce and connect them with actors/actresses until you get a path. You do not have to use Kevin Bacon but you can if you need to.

And no cheating! Don't be going out to Google and shit trying to find it. Bruce will end you if you do!

This Weekend

Rode a crapload of miles this weekend. The best was the CSH ride. I made the mistake of trying to jump out and chase the lead group on Pea Ridge. That tore me up....and no one followed me! Bastards! (not really, everyone was really cool on the ride)

The ride down Lower Moncure was great. I'm going to have to remember that one. That is a great road; save some of the potholes. It had some really nice long rolling hills.

I was not counting on doing Hwy 42 the hard way and I mashed my gears way too hard for that. I ended up hanging with his guy who had the exact same bike as mine only it was a 60 and not a 50. That guy was huge. Nice to draft behind. :)

Some guy had shiny ass in the beginning of the ride. You could see his frickin crack smiling back at you. I was waiting for a brown turtle to poke it's head out. They need an ass check on those store rides. If you need new shorts then either you buy them before you ride or you ride in the back the whole time.

Avent Ferry was an absolute bitch. That was my breaking point thanks to not using my small gears on the hills. I could only watch everyone just run up those hills faster than me. Fatty jerks!

Oh yeah, the last 100 yards of Old Holly Springs Road is not paved anymore. It used to be 2 weeks ago. Whoever stole the pavement I would really appreciate you putting it back.

Triple Mountain this weekend. GO MEATBALLS!

Kyle Petty - Top 5 finish

The end of the world is nigh! Kyle Petty gets 3rd in the 600.

I'm glad to see that Kyle did so well in the race. He does a great job with all of his charity work. People who don't follow the sport closely probably miss that and only think of him as the son of The King.

Go Dookies!

One win away from being the National Champs in Lacrosse.

I will be very happy if this happens. Not only because I actually like Duke but because this will be a huge slap in the face to anyone who jump on the bandwagon of "guilty until proven innocent." Like those wonderful chaps over at the New Black Panther Party. What a fine group of upstanding citizens they are. (Michelle Malkin '08!!)

I think the NC Bar Association should make Nifong streak across the field at half time. If he does that then he can keep his law license. It think that level of humiliation is the only way he will fully understand the consequences of his actions or inaction--however you look at it.

Funny Videos

Hot Pockets Skit - Jim Gaffigan

Ron White (that one is about 10 minutes long)

Spaceballs

Taffada Darlin!

Roll in zee Hay!

The Greenhouse Myth

I have been doing some searching on the web about the greenhouse effect because I never understood how it worked. Something never quite sat right with all that stuff I had to sit through in school. It never made sense from a logical standpoint--ever.

The reason why I never fully got it is because of what is happening on the moon. It's hundreds of degrees warmer in the sun than it is in the shade on the moon and it has no atmosphere. It's got to be a part of the equation.

It turns out that my hunch was right.

The atmosphere acts kind of like a big giant pot of water. It enables convection. Unlike a greenhouse which is a barrier to convection. In short, the atmosphere allows for the transfer of heat over a wider area. That's why you don't burn up on a sunny day or freeze to death at night.

Biggest Box Office Flop

This is really funny....and sad...but more funny than sad.

"One of the most widely recognized aspects of Zyzzyx Road is its notably low box office draw. The film is the lowest grossing film of all time, earning just $30 at the box office from exactly six patrons. Unofficially, its opening weekend netted twenty dollars. The ten dollar difference is due to a personal refund by Grillo to makeup artist Sheila Moore, who had worked on the film, and her friend."

WikiPedia Link

I wonder...

What kind of crappy movies would you have to rent from NetFlix to end up with this one on your auto rental list?

My guesses would be:

Ishtar

The Spanish Prisoner

Pee-Wee Goes to the Movies - in 3D!

Muppets vs. Mothra

Mothra vs. Kahn

That teenie bop movie where the nerdy girl takes off her glasses and puts on a red dress and then she's totally the hottest and most popular girl ever. The frickin' movie could have been 5 minutes long and they could fill the rest of the screen time with toothpaste commericals and it would be a thousand times better! I mean, what a crock of holy shit!

Godfather Part III
(I own this movie, trust me, it totally sucks)

Godzilla vs. Kahn
(so I guess you know you wins Mothra vs. Kahn now - sorry to spoil that one for you)

Big Fat Commie Rat

Michael Moore goes to Cuba and now the US Government is after him.

I do not have a problem with the guy being a commie (save the fact and communism is the stupidest idea in world with the exception of solar powered flashlights) but he has to know the law that you cannot just get on a plane and goto Cooba.

But hey! He apparently likes to break Canadian gun laws for financial gain so you can't really put it past the guy.

Floyd

So there's all this crap going on again about Floyd Landis' blood sample again.

Google News Link

What I don't get about this whole thing is that this same nonsense has been said before. Pick up any publication about Landis in the last year and everytime the report will say that something illegal was found in is samples. But this was never the case. Now all of sudden another flood of articles comes out again saying the same thing.

You have to ask....how many times does it take for a lie to be printed before it becomes the truth?

Speaking of which....

Global Warming Swindle

More Cowbell

This is probably the greatest SNL skit of all time:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=WL94rAgJIKY

Gmaps Pedometerr

This is just about the greatest web site ever:

http://www.gmap-pedometer.com

75 mile NCBC route from The Spa on Hwy 55

http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=906187

I'll add more as I plot them.

Go Sabres!

I think I have to get cable now that the Sabres are in the conference finals. I wonder if I can just get them to hook it up for like 3 weeks then complain about the picture quality and get like 5 free months. Then again, maybe I shouldn't be posting this using my cable internet account either. :)

I like the old logo better...

Why I will never be President

So I was watching some reporter interview some guy running for President...

The reporter asks "What are you doing to stop the spread of AIDS?"

My reply would have been:

"Uh....not fool around with random people."

Random Beer Names

More evidence that the Internet is a complete waste of time...

Random Beer Generator

Some good ones I have seen:

Trans-gendered Hippo Amber Bock

Forbidden Donut Schwartzbier (Simpons reference)

Turgid Moose Pilsner

Golden Fat Ninja Bock
(that one just rolls off the tongue doesn't it?)

Frisky Chinese Valentine Day Red Wee

Beaver-Nun Porter
(eewwwwww!)

Stinky Aardvark Dubble

Mothra's Tubular Pilsner

Ewok Barley Wine

Ferrell Gas Cloud Bavarian Dunkelweizen

Hamburgler's Spiced Yellow Porter

Cranky Weasels Pale Ale

and of course....

Sharks with Frickin Laser Beams Attached to the Heads Pale Ale